February 2008.

I don’t know what it is about Birthdays. Birthdays make wrongfully downloading a ‘sample only’ episode of Lost something that I just cannot handle. I mean, it’s obvious right? I just want everything to be perfect. Perfectly about me me me. Nah, I’m not planning anything special but don’t you all dare let me pay for my own coffee. It is ridiculous. In fact, it seems the less I plan, the more I expect my planless day of ‘laying low’ to run perfectly and yes, this does have something to do with Bridget.

Nothing can be planned, or at least totally planned, with little Bridget. If something is planned it is not about me (let alone me me me). I can see why my own mother (now 51) says she doesn’t care much about her birthday – for so long, she hasn’t had the chance.

But I wonder how long.

I wonder how long it took her to stop caring about her birthday – to buy her own coffee, or make her own dinner and pick me up from my friend’s house later on. I hope not long. I need to figure this out this motherly selflessness thing as soon as possible.

TESTIMONIAL: I have been a mom for almost a year and a half but clearly I am yet to get over myself completely. Hrmff

February 2008.